Bulls On Parade

(Written 9/20/2008)

Yesterday I was gouged by a bull. Is that the right word? Stabbed? Gored? Horned? Made into a Chris-Kebob? (Get it? Like shish… ah forget it). The cow in question didn’t even break my skin, although it did leave a bruise on my stomach that looks like an appendectomy scar. Oh and it tore my classic DHHS Class of 2001 shirt. In all honestly, it was more funny that anything. I was ascending a hill, minding my own business, letting my mind wander on all things rice-related (“how does one make sake? Or rice krispies?”) Meanwhile, a cow (omby) was coming down the hill on the opposite side of the road. A little further on was a young boy and his other cow. All of a sudden, as he was trying to tell me the cow was “masika” (misbehaven), the bull turns towards me and in a few steps pins me against the grass wall with his horns. Then he stepped back and continued on his way. After a breath or two, I started laughing: “Did that just happen!?” I soon found myself wishing for a larger scar to show off!
I promised to be on the lookout for misprinted sports team gear here, and today I saw a doozy. It was a navy blue pullover fleece a man was wearing, and on the left breast was a gold monogram ND (also on the back collar). But printed down the sleeve was WOLVERINES. Fighting back the urge to throw up in my mouth, I forced myself to look again, hoping it was a mirage. Nope, there they were, Notre Dame and Michigan, combined in an unholy alliance. I never thought I would see an image so horrible. I am proud to say I did not tear off the sleeve (even if I did consider it), and took solace in our recent victory over UM. I will pass along other such discrepancies as I find them!
I also made a fun purchase recently: an Ancy Be (Big Knife). Much as its name implies, it is in fact a large knife, basically a huge blade attached to a stick. It is good for ax-like work like splitting wood as well as trimming plants and such. It is also good for frightening young kids. Bsaically it is the kind of knife Crocodile Dundee would want. Final note: Rice really does go with everything. Mashed potatoes, bananas, cup o’ noodle soup, marinade mixes, peanut butter, jam… I have yet to find a poor match.